Sunday, August 28, 2005

We've Been Doing it Like Banshees--Now he's Yours

Augusten Burroughs is a brilliant writer who lives nearby in Northampton, MA. He wrote a column in this month's Details magazine about various kinds of f**cks.

"Turns out, the day the divorce had become final, Amanda and her now ex-husband had spent the afternoon in bed, in what was now Amanda's home. "We've been f**king like banshees," she said, "We've been meeting up at lunch. At hotels." Amanda detailed hours of determined felatio and crusty french bread spread with Brie. "When we were married, we never had sex in the shower. Now? Let me tell you that the man will never think of hair conditioner the same way again."

"That evening, Amanda called the home of her ex-husband and spoke to the girlfriend, the mother of the other baby. And she said, "I just wanted you to know that your boyfriend has been f**king me every day for three weeks. And he's just today told me that he loves me and wants to come home. But I don't want him, and I'm officially giving him to you."

Amanda had successfully pulled off the Revenge f**k."

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