Girls with Big Boobs Get Battleship Bras
The Mincemeat Vixen writes a saucy blog called "Not Well Planned." Great stuff from Ontario.
"Last summer I went to a fancy bra store to buy a bra, asked for a C cup and the woman laughed at me. She put me in a changeroom and started bringing me Double-D Battleship-type bras that could take your eye out if we moved closely together at a high speed. I don't know if it was purely the weight gain, or if it was a hormonal surge at age 29, but I've now got breasts that could rival ANY of the chicks in the live sex shows at the Zanzibar.
And I'm not saying this to be like "oh-look-at-me-and-my-gigantic-gongas". Because I'd rather be 20 lbs lighter and have my old ones (and I WILL be, just give me time). I'm saying this so I can express my extreme HORROR at the type of bras available to girls with big boobs.
Have you ever SEEN the type of bras offered to anyone over a D-cup? Especially in WHITE? First of all, they only make them like, FULL COVERAGE, with BIG HONKIN' STRAPS. And they make them out of THICK, no-hint-of-translucency-or-lace material.
A white bra in a double-D looks like a f**king helmet for a giant, or a full-body shield, coming RIGHT AT YOU. You see one of those white bras and you have an almost instinctual urge to yell "DUCK!" and deek behind the nearest display.
I am fully expecting (hoping) that my new bra will start barking horrible insults at my breasts in a heavy Hungarian accent.
"Last summer I went to a fancy bra store to buy a bra, asked for a C cup and the woman laughed at me. She put me in a changeroom and started bringing me Double-D Battleship-type bras that could take your eye out if we moved closely together at a high speed. I don't know if it was purely the weight gain, or if it was a hormonal surge at age 29, but I've now got breasts that could rival ANY of the chicks in the live sex shows at the Zanzibar.
And I'm not saying this to be like "oh-look-at-me-and-my-gigantic-gongas". Because I'd rather be 20 lbs lighter and have my old ones (and I WILL be, just give me time). I'm saying this so I can express my extreme HORROR at the type of bras available to girls with big boobs.
Have you ever SEEN the type of bras offered to anyone over a D-cup? Especially in WHITE? First of all, they only make them like, FULL COVERAGE, with BIG HONKIN' STRAPS. And they make them out of THICK, no-hint-of-translucency-or-lace material.
A white bra in a double-D looks like a f**king helmet for a giant, or a full-body shield, coming RIGHT AT YOU. You see one of those white bras and you have an almost instinctual urge to yell "DUCK!" and deek behind the nearest display.
I am fully expecting (hoping) that my new bra will start barking horrible insults at my breasts in a heavy Hungarian accent.
posted by Max Hartshorne at 9:04 PM
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