Here, You Want More Coffee?
Jackie Mason on his least favorite coffee shop, Starbucks.
"You want coffee in a regular coffee shop, they'll give you all the refills you want until you drop dead. You can come in when you're 27 and keep drinking coffee until you're 98, and they'll start begging you: "Here, You want more coffee?" Do you know that you can't get a refill at Starbucks? A refill is a dollar fifty, two refills $4.50...
'And there's no chairs in those Starbucks. Instead, they have these high stools. You ever see these stools? You haven't been on a chair that high since you were two. Seventy-three year old Jews are climbing and climbing to get to the top of the chair. And when they get to the top, they can't even drink the coffee because there's 12 people around one little table, and everybody is saying 'excuse me, excuse me...then they can't get off the chair. Old Jews are begging Gentiles, "Mister, could you get me off this?"
"You want coffee in a regular coffee shop, they'll give you all the refills you want until you drop dead. You can come in when you're 27 and keep drinking coffee until you're 98, and they'll start begging you: "Here, You want more coffee?" Do you know that you can't get a refill at Starbucks? A refill is a dollar fifty, two refills $4.50...
'And there's no chairs in those Starbucks. Instead, they have these high stools. You ever see these stools? You haven't been on a chair that high since you were two. Seventy-three year old Jews are climbing and climbing to get to the top of the chair. And when they get to the top, they can't even drink the coffee because there's 12 people around one little table, and everybody is saying 'excuse me, excuse me...then they can't get off the chair. Old Jews are begging Gentiles, "Mister, could you get me off this?"
posted by Max Hartshorne at 2:41 PM
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